Why do I know so many people whose birthdays are in May? I think I have to attend at least three birthday parties per week for the entire month, and that is just going to kill me. It's time to declare bankruptcy.
Birthday parties are such scams - you first need to reserve time out of your schedule to attend the dinner. Then, you need to spend time finding a creative gift, and finally you need to pay for your meal and the birthday boy/girl's meal. Altogether, I usually end up spending ~ $100 on every birthday party that I attend.
This year, I am saving money by buying the birthday cards at the dollar store (buy 1 get 1 free). To figure out how much I should spend on gifts, I will use a complex formula which involves variables such as how long I know the person, whether there's a blood relation, what I received from them during my previous birthdays, and pi (3.14159265358979323846).
On the other hand, I received a beautiful invitation to attend my friend's wedding. I will make sure that I get my money's worth by bringing empty bottles with me and filling them up with hard liquor.
7 comments:
hey! Does this mean you aren't going to attend my b-day??
Hmm! Depending how nice you are to me in the next few weeks. ;) J/K.
For those of you who didn't know, Pat actually defined what pi was just for show-off's sake. If you were his good friend, you'd know how many digits deep he knew pi was defined at.
btw pat, save for the date. Dec. 17. Thx buddy.
actually, I cut and pasted that online
i will be careful around you at work today though. looks like someone is having a case of the mondays!
Save August 4th!!! it's time for a real keger and the red plastic cups. I miss the old school college days.
Just do what I do..show up after the meal for drinks ;-)
$100 per birthday?? What are you doing June 14? ;)
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